"Suddenly, Edward's email account starts bouncing back all of Bella's sad missives, which leaves her staring sad-eyed out the window for the next several months like a love-lorn Christopher Reeve. After a while, Bella takes to her bed and howls for nights on end, but she pulls out of her depression a few minutes later (film time) when she convinces a Native American kid to repair of couple of broken-down dirt bikes for free - because exploiting Indians is the cure for the white girl blues.I endured the first Twilight debacle because my youngest kinda made me. I thought it was God awful, head splittingly stupid. It was my understanding that my daughter had mostly grown out of this asinine vampire soap opera - or so I thought. My daughter, and my wife, are in line right now at the local cineplex desperately waiting for the first digital flickers of Bella making goo-goo eyes at Edward's gravity defying hair. My wife says she just wants to see how bad it is. Huh-huh. Traitors.
The savage in question is Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), raven-haired sixteen-year-old and proud descendant of the Washboard Tummy Tribe." - Aintitcool.com
I don't know why the Twilight films bother me so much. Stewart (Bella) and Pattinson (sparklin' Eddie) have to be two of the dullest actors on the planet, they certainly deliver lines like neither has taken a single acting class. If dreamy eyed teen angst qualifies as method acting these days both excel in that useless gift. And if that wasn't bad enough, I understand that the werewolves carry fanny packs so that when they change back to human form, they can slip on a some Old Navy jeans. No shirts, just man hugging jeans. Yeah, werewolves with fanny packs, it's that stupid.
Why am I surprised? Last year a small majority Americans bought into the ever so shallow & shadowy mythology of Obama as President. Now a even larger majority of Americans are face-palming themselves and asking "what the hell were we thinking?" Here's to hoping Americans will shake off the Obama, Edward and Bella flu soon.
